Celebrity email…
Back in 2003, in the days of my old weblog, See The Donkey, there was a segment I used to do on Celebrity Email. There was a public site called celebrityemail.com where people could write open letters to celebrities under the delusion that the celebrities actually checked their emails there. Comedy gold.
I stumbled on the link this morning in some old files and was pleased to find out the site still exists.
Not knowing who to search for, I checked out the top celebrities, where I found the following message to Keanu Reeves:
| Date | 03/24/09 | ||
| Subject | hey keanu reeves | ||
| im a tremendous keanu fan your a great actor my name is max mace im 17 and ive already been in a short movie called “Hatched” im trying to become an actor and i know your busy but it would be an honor to talk to you it really would um anyways im not asking for a call or anything haha but if you want to email me id be so thankful anyways my email i thank you keanu your fan max mace | |||
I couldn’t resist, so I googled Max Mace and got his IMDB page. As of today he is down 31% in popularity. That makes me sad.
Let’s help the kid out - google “Max Mace Hatched” and click on his IMDB page - let’s give him a boost.
While we help out Max, let’s try and avoid Carrie, who also wrote to Keanu.
| Date | 01/03/09 | ||
| Subject | I know this is going to be stupid sorry | ||
| I know this that I am going to write is going to seem so stupid as well as that you will never read this so I am writing this to make me feel better. I try not to watch very many of your movies. What happened to the real you and what you do that you think makes you happy will only make you worse in the end. Sorry it’s not just your movies I try not to watch but many other actors I can feel their true feelings and some are not pleasant and others very scary yours are confussing like you have lost part of yourself and you can see it but never reach it. Like I said this is crazy but I must get it out so I can clean my mind. Carrie | |||
Funny, as crazy and creepy as Carrie is, I like how she got a “confusing” vibe from Keanu.
But if you think Carrie was creepy, have a look at this letter to Jennifer Aniston from her best friend…
| Date | 04/24/09 | ||
| Subject | jeniffer aniston | ||
| hi! you are my best celebrite ever i wish i could see you in real life your funny aswell especialy in friends anway your the best and my best friend even though i havent seen you im a girl and i hope i see you | |||
That whole “I’m a girl” thing at the end rings a little false, doesn’t it?
“I love you and you are the bestest and, oh, by the way, in no way am I a creepy 50 year old man…”
Also, lesson number 4 in celebrity letter writing: Never end your email with “I hope I see you.”
That’s right, I’m giving lessons. I’m here to help these people out.
Filed under: Linking
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