Yesterday I threw a teddy bear at a baby’s head.

I didn’t know the baby, I didn’t know the mother. They were strangers sharing the same public space as me.

A group of us were at the CNE, taking a much needed break in the shade, when I started to get antsy. My break was over and I was ready to get on with the fun.

Recognizing my friends weren’t as eager to move on as I was I searched for something to occupy my time with. I asked to borrow a friend of mine’s stuffed animals, prizes he’d won earlier in the day: a long purple snake and a small brown fuzzball of a teddy bear.

Naturally, Teddy bear Baseball came to mind.

Now here is the part where I have to say that I fully did not expect the snake to hold up as well as it did. I fully expected the bear to be too heavy to travel any distance whatsoever and that the snake’s weight would not hold up once contact was made.

Boy was I wrong.

After a bit of a windup the bear flew, over my friends heads and right at a lady sitting at the next picnic table over. She was holding a baby in front of her and she brought the baby down just as the bear went whizzing over both of their heads.

I don’t embarrass easily (see: pictures of Lee in the CooCoo Hause Fun House earlier that afternoon) but I could not even look the mother in the face. I apologized profusely, and I think my apologies amused them as they seemed to take everything well enough. They also appreciated my friend’s token of the stuffed animals, giving up his snake and his beloved bear to the child as we left the rest area.

All in all, not as bad an outcome as it might have been.

After googling “throwing things at babies” and seeing only 8 results (that puts me in quite a prestigious crowd!) I came across a news story reported in a blog about an American man who threw his water in a crying baby’s face on a plane.

The result?

His immediate deportation upon his arrival in Brazil.

That’s much worse than the situation I find myself in right now.

All I have to do is find a replacement bear.

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