October Predictions.

While reviewing the accuracy of our expert opinions on September, it seems the mark was missed on more than one occasion.

Strangely, people did not forget that the 23rd existed and, even more shockingly, reports indicate that the new 90210 isn’t all that bad.

And even the experts admit they did not see that whole “fall of Western Economy” thing happening…

Even while these results are dismal at best, we’ve decided to publish their predictions for October.  Partly because they asked nicely, and even threw some puppy dog glances our way, but mostly because content has been hard to come by this week.

Here’s what the experts have to say about October:

- the American economy will continue to experience troubles and, with no government bailout in sight, the American dollar will soon be worth less than the paper it is printed on.  This, ironically, will boost profits for paper companies who will invest those profits back into the banks.  All should be fixed by, oh, about the 28th or so…

- an attempt will be made on Sarah Palin’s life.  Oh, wait, that wasn’t Sarah Palin.  That was just one of the hundred thousand women going as Sarah Palin for Hallowe’en.

- the Buffalo Bills will continue to go undefeated throughout October, surprising everyone and completely effing up my… er, Lee’s fantasy stats.

- the actor who played the original Mr. Clean will die.  Honestly, we predicted this before it was reported, Lee has just been too sick and busy this week to post these predictions until now!  In an extreme coincidence, the animated Mr. Clean is also killed this month when called in to clean up a warehouse drenched in what turns out to be Dip.

- following this year’s Downtown Toronto Knitting Club’s Socktoberfest, and the Trekkie fan-event Spocktoberfest, we are officially out of punny names for events that take place in October that have nothing to do with bratwurst.

- the creepily chipper brother-sister team on the Amazing Race will go all Angelina Jolie and James Haven on each other after winning three legs of the race in a row, causing host Phil Keoghan to vomit on the small Egyptian woman standing next to him, who will in turn vomit on the camera crew and, boy, it’s that scene in Stand By Me all over again.

We’ll check back with our experts in November to see how they did!