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Writing - Miscellany |
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Dear Santa - Quarterly Report January to March, 2009
With last year’s disappointing Christmas morning still fresh in all our minds I thought it would be prudent to update you on my behavior quarterly over the course of this year. My year-end analysis back in January led me to the conclusion that the incident involving the pinking shears and Mrs. Tremblay’s poodle, Mitsou, in late November may have clouded certain judgements and many of the positive behaviors exhibited earlier in the year were lost as a result. These quarterly reports should help avoid a similar occurrence this year. Year On Year Results Looking back on our first quarter last year we have seen an improve of 16 percent in positive behavior this year, fuelled mainly by the economic downturn and the increase in productivity in the chore/allowance cycle. With both my Mom and Dad working more overtime in order to keep their jobs, certain tasks have now fallen to me and I am completing these tasks without complaint or extra compensation. I now do the recycling and the compost on a weekly basis and while this may not seem to be a huge chore it should be noted that the compost is extremely yucky. I also helped Dad throughout January and February with his snow removal duties. I started by shovelling the snow from the driveway and placing it in the yard but the task proved slow and inefficient. In order to increase productivity we went with Dad’s method which had him shovelling the snow and me staying alert on Drift Patrol. This required me to pack the snow he placed in the yard into large round balls to prevent it from drifting back onto the driveway in case of wind. These balls were then placed on top of each other and fashioned into a snowman near the “For Sale” sign, adding what my Dad calls “curb appeal”, whatever that means. Risk Assessment In the interest of complete transparency, we did have a setback in early February when I found that book of matches. Princess Jasmine, our class gerbil, has since grown back all of her hair and has finally lost the burnt smell that stayed with her a while afterwards. I also paid complete attention and did not fidget once during the assembly with Fireman Bill. I would also like to state, for the record, that I was specifically throwing snowballs at the tree in Mrs. Tremblay’s front yard on February 7th, and not at her house. The errant snowball that cracked her front window was a complete accident and while my Mom and Dad did have to pay her to get the window, and the one next to it, replaced, I also made up for it by expanding my Drift Patrol duties to her yard as well. Recent Developments It is understood that you have little to do with birthday presents, Santa, but I think that it is important to note how well I did on my birthday this year. While I did not get the Wii for my birthday, which, incidentally and to remind you, is what I had asked you for for Christmas last year, I did get a very nice day at the Party Palace with many of my friends. And while it is no Super Mario Galaxy, my Mom and Dad explained to me how much games like that cost and then they hooked up my Aunt Janice’s old TV in my room. I don’t have cable in there, but I can play my Nintendo 64 games whenever I want now, even when the news is on. I also got my report card last week and you would be impressed at the number of B’s on there. I only got two C’s, in Science and Math, and I even got an A in Social Studies. This is a dramatic improvement over the last quarter of last year and I think it mostly has to do with the fact that we studied pioneers this quarter and they were really cool. Annual Trends In Current Forecast With these improvements, this year is shaping up to be a good one, although we remain cautiously optimistic. My Mom and Dad seem to think that the house will sell soon, which means we might be moving during the summer. It is difficult to tell how this will impact my behavior, especially since it might mean starting at a new school in September. I will keep you posted quarterly and will advise you of our new address as soon as I have it. All the best to
Mrs. Claus and Rudolph, |
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